Archives for posts with tag: fag hags

A lot has been said this last week about a certain subject….

TEAM KHALEESI!!!!!!! (We Mother of Dragons have to stick together)

TEAM KHALEESI!!!!!!! (We Mothers of Dragons have to stick together)

No, no, no, no, no, no…..must not be distracted (But OMG, is not EVERYONE on pins and needles for Season 3? COME ON!)

What we, in the States have been watching closely this past week is not some sport that takes way too much attention and air time, or some Scandalous television show that has fairly graphic sex scenes for a show on ‘regular’ television (Ok, Ok, I just am OBSESSED with Kerry Washington’s mouth when she pulls a Chandra Wilson (but in an Olivia Pope way) monologue on people)

No, we’ve been watching these folks:

The Supremes...I mean, the Supreme Court Justices of the United States of America

The Supremes...I mean, the Supreme Court Justices of the United States of America

Not quite as attractive as these folks:

I seriously have a problem

I seriously have a problem

But those Justices have the ability to change the lives of some people I know and love, people like, well….these folks –

Two of my son's Uncles

Or these two, who had to fly to New York City to put a ring on it….

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Or you know…any of the people I know, who I have trusted to hold my child….

it was Halloween!

Relax, it was Halloween!

Here’s the thing – this:

Equality - UNDER THE LAW

Equality – UNDER THE LAW

is not going to hurt you!

It’s not going to change how you talk to your kids, it’s not going to change that you need to walk your dog before you leave the house for work, it’s not going to change the fact that Mayor Bloomberg is right and you shouldn’t buy that sugary beverage with the 12 tablespoons of sugar in it to go with your fast food….

But it could enhance the lives of people like…well, like….some of these people…

Photo by Brian Putnam

Photo by Brian Putnam

Or this guy….SparkleScott

Or them….

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The point is, it’s about the LAW. It is not about a book that has a dozen different authors, half of whom were cut out by King James because he was the King and he didn’t like what he was reading…or that he couldn’t read the Latin, so he had it translated, and then other people didn’t like some of the things, so they edited down, and now all sorts of ‘lost Bible texts’ have been showing up in the middle of the desert saved by some Ancient Egyptian Hoarder. It is a book where the contributing authors had the ‘intent’ of teaching and relating moral questions that can be useful…it’s not, it was never intended to be clinical or accurate.

Because miracles and such are not clinically quantifiable, and we do not need them to be. We just have to believe….

Otherwise I would be stoned for wearing white – and not just after Labor Day in the Hamptons!

Or my Father could have offered my sexual services to a teeming mob, so that they did not kill someone visiting the house.

Or..how about this- if you had to, in this modern age, find your way to a place you had never been before- would you use a compass or would you use Mapquest? Cuz the compass did not even work that well in Christopher Columbus’s time…I shudder to think of what kind of mess you would get into in Lower Manhattan!

The point is – this is the United States of America – not the “United as long as we all think and act exactly the same” America – and we get to be different. We get to celebrate our Diversity every day, and we are lucky to be able to do so. So if you know an LGBT person, if there is one in your Family, or someone you work with – it’s not your ‘job’ to judge them, it’s your duty to fight for their equality, the same way equality was fought for YOU by people that came before.

That is my relative, Mike Quill, Union Leader of the TWU- they fought, among other things, for equal pay regardless of race. When he passed, Martin Luther King Jr wrote his obituary

That is my relative, Mike Quill, Union Leader of the TWU – they fought, among other things, for equal pay regardless of race. When he passed, Martin Luther King Jr wrote his obituary

People you never met – you ride on their backs…we all do.

And speaking OF Martin Luther King, Jr.

And speaking OF Martin Luther King, Jr.

So that, truly, is the point.

It’s going to happen – either now or later, and we are all only as good as our actions.

What he said...

What he said…

I will tell you a story about the first Gay Wedding I went to. It was in Australia. My Cousin, Ralph was marrying his longtime Partner. Now Ralph had 3 siblings, none of whom attended the wedding – in fact, his Sister told me she thought it was ‘disgusting’. His Mother and Father were there, because as his Father said to me, “He’s my Boy”. I was in Cairns visiting my Grandmother who was then 90 years old…or maybe the 90th was coming up, anyway it was the same year – I went four times that year, so the timeline is off in my head. (Oh – and he had tons of friends there, so we did not miss his siblings at all, it was a lovely party, but I am jumping ahead)

There was a ton of debate – not to me, I was singing, I was GOING to be there – amongst those of the Family who were going to be invited, as to whether or not they would attend. As my Grandmother was in her 90th year, I waited a bit before I brought it up, because I was not, honestly, sure of what she was going to say. The world was a different place from when she had grown up. She was born in 1910. She had seen telephones come into homes, she had seen cars become an everyday item. She had seen the television go from black and white to color, and she had even managed to email. You might think, at that point, that she would have said ‘that’s enough, I’ve seen enough change in my life’.

I said, “Grandma, you know I am singing at Ralphie’s wedding“. She said she knew. I asked her “Are you going to go?” And she said, “Well of course I’m going to go – I’m invited, aren’t I? We’re family aren’t we? I go to ALL the Family weddings.”

And that was that.

As Family, we were equal in my Grandmother’s eyes.

As Citizens of the United States, we deserve that as well.

And if you do not like what I’m saying….Kiss my Fan Tan Fannie!

I usually do not post photos of my son on this blog, because he is so cute I think someone will steal him. After all, he was born in the Year of the Dragon and we all know what happened to Khaleesi in Season 2! (Damn Magicians). But I wanted you to see part of his Family…and this is only PART (and most of y’all I didn’t put in because I thought you’d yell at me or cuz u r on a big, fat TV show).

And even if you WERE to attempt to try and steal him, all of these were months ago and he doesn’t look like this anymore…

He’s cuter. 🙂

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This past weekend marked the start of New York City’s Gay Pride – and what better way to celebrate Drag Queens bitchslapping the Popo, than with the start of my new blog – The Fairy Princess Diaries!

Ian Paget, Erin Quill, Raymond J. Lee (from Left to Right)

What, you may ask, is this blog going to be about? Well, likely it is going to address things that tick me off – and most everything does these days because I recently gave birth, which makes you irritable, but what irks me MOST is the unschooled-ness of the new Fairy Princesses running around WeHo or Chelsea, who are giving Fag Hags a bad name.

Of course, me being me, I will likely sound off on things that I am also somewhat of an ‘expert’ on  – Musical Theater, Pop Culture, and People Who Parent Badly in Public, but mostly, it will be me being me, which means I’m going to teach you how to be a better Fag Hag aka Fairy Princess aka Fruit Fly.

What, you may ask, is a Fag Hag? Well, in old school parlance, a Fag Hag was used to denote an unattractive somewhat clingy woman who only hung around with Gay Men who seemed to be under the delusion that if she stuck it long enough, one would see the error of his ways, and fall madly in love with her, “Just as you are….”. But then Bridget Jones started singing Adele songs and a new world order was born.

I have been called a Fag Hag since, probably…well at least to my FACE (NOT THE FACE, YES, the FACE)…I would say college – and I both embraced it and resented it – and here’s why….
1. I never thought my Gay friends would give up the sexual member of both our choices and fall madly in love with me
2. I never hung out ONLY with Gay Men, although yes, the majority of my time was spent with Gay Men, it was likely because I was majoring in Musical Theater Vocal Performance…as in Real Estate, it’s ‘Location, location, location”
3. I had female friends – Straight ones, Gay ones, even Republican ones…& I like my Gal Pals
4. I felt that the term “Fruit Fly’ was more apt for me, because I kind of buzzed in and out and around the scene and I always dressed cute and wore makeup.

I think I was focusing too much on the “hag” part of the title…it just screamed “Witchy Poo” to me, come to think of it, she was always chasing after better looking unattainable mates she could not have…(OMG, I just outed Witchy Poo as a Fag Hag….God will get me for that, Stanley….)

Now though, I embrace it – it’s who I am and I would be lost, lost, LOST, without my Gays. I would have no one to complain to about how awful the TONY Broadcast was…again (WHAT is up with the sound issues? It is Radio Damn City Music Hall and no one can get through without subbing in a hand held mic? WTF!), no one would stage an ‘eyebrow intervention” (“You are coming to my apartment every three days until that mess is FIXED and there is no debate about it, Quill!”), no one would offer to beat someone up after a particularly bad date (“Give me his address…now), and I would have a rainbow shaped hole in my heart. They have been ‘there’ for me in every aspect of my life, including most recently, the delivery room, where, during a particularly bad 26 hour labor, my friend John, the nurse, talked me down while I was semi-hysterical because I could not feel my legs for several hours. They walked my Sister & Mother down the aisle at my wedding, they helped my Husband with the wedding proposal, they have given me love, support, and a career….I would be adrift without them. My friend Dennis once said to me, “We lose most of our Girls when they get married, but you’re still here”, to which I replied, “What’s the saying? You dance with the one what brought you?” Yeah, it’s like that.

Yes, Virginia – Fag Hags can get married!

I think, what it really comes down to, is that people like to tell me things, and I listen. I have had more Gay Men come out to me than an Open Call at an Ice Capades Audition. I used to joke that Fag Hags in WeHo should have special parking priviledges, and when asked why my cell phone was pink, I would respond ‘Because every time it rings, it’s a Gay Emergency.” In my younger days, I admit, I may have helped shove one or two out of their Lion, Witch, & Wardrobe (I do not advocate that now), but I have been the recipient of much love along the way. I am constantly amazed at the things I get told, why, today I was at the diner with my Husband, and the waitress wound up telling me how she had terrible Post Partum Depression. I turned to him after she left and said, “What was that?” and he replied, “It’s you. It’s just you, this is why you should blog, people just tell you stuff.” so if you don’t like it, blame Chil. No really, he’s on Twitter – @ChilKong send him stuff, he can take it, he’s tall. I’m on the Twittah as well – @EQuill – I do not have a separate twitter for this blog yet, and to ask me to double tweet when I have a newborn is redonkulous, I won’t do it – you are not the Boss of me….

My point, and I do have one, is that  I respond a proud YES when asked if I am a Fag Hag, or a Fruit Fly, OR a Fairy Princess – it’s all a YES – I like Princess best, because let’s face it, I’m not Kate Middleton and every girl wants a crown once in a while – whether or not you are willing to stroll through a Gay Mardi Gras to get it, is up to you.

They say to ‘write what you know’, well THIS is what I know – and before you make some crazy judgements based on what is previously written, I’ll let you know a few things that may surprise you:

1. I’m married, to a straight man (though he did coach Beauty Pageant Contestants  once upon a time)
2. I sing Show Tunes for a living, and my dresses are as glittery as any drag queen would want them to be.I was an Original Broadway Cast Member of the musical, Avenue Q, I was in the 50th Anniversary Production of Flower Drum Song, I have been in front of the camera and behind – having written 2 screenplays that became films (The Mikado Project avail on DVD on Amazon.com & QWERTY which is in ‘post’). I have worked in Casting, Commercial Production, as a Director’s Rep, written on Diversity issues, and…before people “Watched What Happens Live” 5 nights a week, I did a talk show Pilot for Bravo with Andy Cohen, which you must admit, ups my Fairy Princess Street Cred quite a bit. I also have friends who are very fancy and they run Broadway and Hollywood, no, I mean really, they REALLY run Broadway and Hollywood – so….I might have a few insights along the way that you might appreciate.
3. I have a kid, he’s a newborn, but he counts…ok, he doesn’t actually count or even talk yet, but his very existence means I am writing this at bitch in the morning in between feedings
4. I am ‘thanked’ in 5 Gay Books in the credits, what can I say? I’m a Muse – yes, JUST like Sharon Stone – however I am very fond of Filipinos, particularly Alec Mapa 🙂
5. I advocate and support the GLBT community and this blog is all in fun with a grain of truth – I’ve helped raise $$$ for Broadway Cares/EFA, The Matthew Shepard Foundation, Desert AIDS Project, The LA GLBT Center, The Trevor Project, and so on and so on…
6. I am writing this because I have noticed as I get older that…well, them young’ens do not seem to have been taught Gay Community ettiquette – and there is just NOT enough of me, or some of my equally strong minded Fairy Princesses to go around..we’re busy, we have lives, so this is, if you will, a road map on how to be a good friend – a good friend who probably has only one or two straight men in her phone. (I have 7, straight men in my phone…none on speed dial except the Husband).

AND SO IT BEGINS…..