The Fairy Princess has watched the rise of violence against Asian American Pacific Islanders with abject horror and she knows she is not alone.

Each video shown makes her wonder if that could be her Mum, her Auntie or Uncle, her In Laws or her Neighbors, should they try to walk down the street or simply run to get something from the shop.

The thing about Violence is – the victims of the violence are not the ones who can stop it – though many are trying by offering rewards or walking our seniors as they get their groceries, or joining patrols in heavily AAPI lived areas – there is nothing ‘we’ can do about it. Nothing at all.

For the violence is not what ‘we’ have chosen. It isn’t. This is violence enacted upon us. It comes up unexpectedly and it uses opportune moments with gleeful abandon – choosing people because they did not like the way their eyes met as they walked down the street, or because they think that they represent something weak, or because they themselves have felt and been the victims of societal racism – the perpetrators feel it is ‘ok’ to enact violence.

These perpetrators have many supporters – TFP has seen them. On Tik Tok. On Twitter. On the comments sections for articles about violence against AAPIs – there is a lot of ‘what about isms’ going on. Blatant campaigning against AAPIs from people of other communities of color as well as white creators.

Again, like the random attacks – there is little one can do against them.

Any objection you raise will be covered in a ‘what about racist Asians”?

TFP wants to address some of those “what about isms’…

  1. There are, of course, AAPIs who have prejudice. They have prejudice because they were taught it as a child, and society has reinforced their prejudices, so they take them as fact. This is wrong Of COURSE it is. Prejudice that leads to any sort of violence is wrong. Does not give anyone leave to attack an elderly lady with kicks to the head as she waits for public transport. Or push a man so hard, his head cracks on the curb and he dies. Or stab someone who meets your eyes in the street.

2. AAPIs are weak. We’re not – but we realize that though there was an attack on an AAPI Service Member in KTown in LA, that was the rare instance where the victim of the attack was young.

It took 3 of them to beat him down, and his friend was also trying to fight them off. Not a fair fight by any means – mostly these attacks are on seniors who have no defense.

These are the acts of cowardly people who wish to feel powerful – and escalation only means that more patrols – vigilante patrols – will roam those areas.

Eventually , there will be an event from which we cannot return. That is TFP’s fear.

3. One or two or even a dozen prejudiced people does not give you permission to attack people. Not even if you had an incident in your childhood. Not even if your feelings were hurt. It doesn’t give you leave to name call or attack – because the world is filled with grown ups who can do what? Control themselves.

4. Communities of Color have to start talking to one another. Leaders must speak up. You have to confront the issues within a community that leads to violence against people who they live alongside, and in many cases, have done so for quite a while.

5. We do not really expect that anyone who is not AAPI will go out of their way to defend us or to fix this situation – because America has never, ever fixed any of the violence enacted upon AAPIs. Because no matter where anyone else has heritage from…”We” are the foreigners, and ‘we’ do not belong here.

Hurt people, hurt people.

However you can only maintain these ‘status quos’ of these attacks if regular people, good people, strong people, allow it.

It will continue as long as people allow it to.

It is time to band together and decide that this is not the kind of world you want for your families, for your friends, for strangers who walk the same streets you do. It is not in humanity’s best interest to allow this kind of violence to continue.

People afraid to leave their homes, afraid to go to school, afraid to go shopping, or purchase food – this is no way to live.

Perhaps, if you are reading this and you are vocally against AAPIs, you think this is a great solution – then you of course must stop eating our foods, enjoying things we created like martial arts and anime and calligraphy and art, stop watching basketball, and ice skating, and speed skating, and..frankly, Keanu Reeves – because well… that’s fair.

If you are a white supremacist, or an anti-Asian non white person – TFP cannot stop you from being so. There is nothing she can say to you to make you consider that she is human, that her friends and family are also, humans – nor can she beg or plead her way to understanding.

However she would like to leave you with a story, showing you the demonstration of a universal decision of “enough is enough’ that she was a part of.

Once upon a time, there was a late train. TFP and her husband had just seen ONCE on Broadway.

Everyone piled on, and TFP and her husband had the end seat which was directly facing an inebriated couple. The male of this couple saw them and instantly started mumbling about ‘stealing our jobs’ while looking at TFP’s husband, who is of Korean descent.

The train pulled out. The couple got louder. TFP wanted to move, but her husband, who is a black belt, thought it was ‘funny’ and actually, he is very tall – so he knew that if it got to a point – he could ‘handle it’. He has a weird sense of humor.

What wound up happening was a LGBTQ Hairdresser of mixed AAPI heritage told the guy to stop it. Because he said, that was how people had talked to his Mom when he was a kid, and he swore it would never happen in front of him. The drunken man then threatened to come and beat this gentleman, which is when TFP jumped up and told the drunk guy not to touch him.

Who stood behind her?

An over six foot tall African American man. He backed her up. He backed up a 8.5 month pregnant, yelling right back at these asswipes on public transport, woman – because it was the right thing to do. They did not know one another, and frankly, TFP did not understand why the drunk guy did not come for HER, till she looked over her shoulder and saw the man standing there. He said, which she remembers clearly, “I got you’.

Then he gave her the ‘nod’.

The drunk guy sat down.

Then every person in that train car started yelling at this drunk man – backing us up – the Hairdresser, the Tall Guy, and TFP. When the conductor came by – he asked what was going on – and then he threw those people off the train at the next stop. Not at Jamaica, where everyone can transfer to where they had to go, as it is a hub, he made them get out at Forrest Hills. Which made everyone applaud.

After which, there was a party atmosphere on the train. People made appointments with the Hairdresser, people talked to their neighbors, the sound of the car became one of congeniality and the guy who backed her up, gave TFP a fist bump.

We all need the country to come together and back one another up. TFP needs her fist bumps back. Her nods. Her check ins.

We have been through four years of hell – and this last one has been horrid. It has been filled with anger, and vitriol, and blame. However four years is enough of this.

We all have to decide that four years is all the ‘space’ we are going to give this mold, which is festering under the cracks of our society unseen. We have to tear up the concrete evidence of racism and prejudice of these attacks and let the sunlight in.

Let’s not give this kind of violence any more room to grow.

Let’s end it – together.

TFP out.