Archives for posts with tag: DeTox Icunt

Here on The Broadway…we live life on an angleit’s rather bawdy but it’s also rather grand…

We Are What We Are

There was a time, that Broadway seemed to be a big community of people who loved what they did for a living, and loved who they worked with – whether or not it was in your own show, or someone you knew from a workshop long past. There were cabaret fundraisers that grew into something with bonnets and choirs that had inspiration and all sorts of things, because we had a common enemy with some pretty powerful initials.

Back in the day, when we spoke in civilized voices.… apparently those days are gone. Not only is the internet for Porn, it’s for blowing your career to smithereens in 140 characters or less.

Twitter has been a great thing for “The Broadway”, giving fans and friends alike a way in to the mind of performers who previously had been somewhat magical, mystical and on occasion, jellicle.  For example, lots of people on The Broadway like Chipotle

Audra McDonald tweets A LOT about Chipotle

Max Von Essen eat tweets

Erich Bergen has tw-yelled at me for tweeting about Chipotle because it made him have to go get Chipotle!

– who knew?

Anyway, This is a fun, insider-y thing to know, and I love those nuggets. I mean, burritos.

My point, and I do have one, is that now that every Tom, Harry, and Dick has a Wifi connection, Folks on The Broadway are time stepping into the Bad Side…woo..hoo…hooo

The Fairy Princess wants to remind you, it’s not about the chicken. You think so, but no, oh no…I know.

To be honest, if you want to clog your arteries on fast food, even Mayor Bloomberg limiting your drink size is not going to stop you – there are always refills. Go ahead, there’s a fine, fine line between diabetes and a waist made of pork rinds. Have at it – chow down!

But Careful the things you tweet, children will listen

Intolerance tilts my tiara. To me, there is very little difference between tweeting smack about a Sondheim show that you might have gone in for, but did not get…or showing up at a talk back on a Diversity issue to be condescending to the group involved and talk about your career in hopes that it will start moving again…. or  showing your support for a fast food restaurant that would deny civil liberties because of one line in Leviticus

OMG, OMG U GUYS, Bigotry tastes great with fries

…and here’s why:

It takes a village. (Yes, it’s a Hillary Clinton quote, and yes, I hope she runs in 2012, but it’s true)  A show – be it a play or a musical or a dance piece, be it deconstructed, avante garde, whatever – takes a village of people to put it together. Bit by bit.

And in our village, which is real and not actually mythical at all, and which resides upon streets numbering from 44th to 53rd or thereabouts and located between certain avenues, we have people. People who need people. We have Village People.

Oh look, it’s Ray Lee from the movie, The Mikado Project avail on DVD on Amazon

Quite a lot of the residents, myself included,  have come specifically to this village because they have magic to do.

Broadway gives you wings

When you work with people day in and day out you can not denigrate the way they live by defiantly supporting companies that espouse intolerance. Or by insulting their performances. Or by telling them that you know best, and that ‘they’ just don’t know how Broadway works but you do….it doesn’t make you smarter, more moral, or funnier –

It makes you the Village Idiot.

The Fairy Princess would like to set forth some command… er…recommendations for The Broadway for The Twittah, so that for the love of Bernadette Peters  we can all cool our Jets…. are gonna have their way…tonight….(Sorry, I can’t help it)

Thou shalt not Tweet Previews

Honor thy Crew and Ensemble

Do not take the issue of Diversity & Representation in vain

Thou shalt think before thy Tweet

If thou Tweets it, thou means it

Look, we all WORK together. It’s not “show friendship’, it’s “Show Business” – it is a business. As in ANY business, you are honor bound to show the people you work with courtesy and respect. Before you tweet, perhaps ask yourself WWJD?

What Would Judy Do?

I’m pretty sure she would say that enough people in life try to knock you down, you don’t need your colleagues to pitch (fork) in and help. Well, I mean, she would probably say something like that after we explained the Internet and Twitter and that kind of thing – she seemed like a cool, hip lady, so I stand by what I wrote. Because I can.

Va Fangool- she tweeted wha?

If you are Tweeting as a Theater Professional, who has fans, then your tweets are part of your work. If you are lucky enough to be in a show, in a lead role particularly, and you use that role to identify yourself so people can ‘follow’ you, then you have a obligation to your Producers and Cast to NOT embroil the name of the show in your own personal sh*t storm.

You don’t throw your show under the tour bus to support an agenda that seems at odds with the way you live. If you really believed that certain people do not deserve to have equal rights, then why, oh why, oh why would you try and work in Musical Theater?

It’s like knowing you cannot swim and going diving with Greg Louganis!

On Elton John’s boat!

Anchored off the French Riviera!

During a theater festival – A Festival? A Festival! (And you know how much we all wish to go to the festival)!

The Fairy Princess does not ‘buy’ half-assed apologies from someone who got their hands slapped and now realize they may have jeopardized their future putting up a photo or a status that they, personally, thought was funny.

Oh Bless the Lord My Soul….

The Fairy Princess has a very hard time believing that any theater professional could, insult other professionals during previews, without knowing exactly what they were saying.

If your smart, you’ll learn your lessons well…

The Fairy Princess fails to see how driving down from Los Angeles to La Jolla so that you can try and make a personal connection with the creators of Mythic China simply to talk about your own career helps your “Asian brothers and sisters’ who you, ostensibly support, while at the same time you call into question their understanding of how Broadway works.

I have credit cards, but I just don’t buy it.

When it’s time to change you gotta rearrange, who you are and what you’re gonna be

You do not have to  be kind to everyone, you do not have to like everyone. If you grant yourself the ‘right’ to say something, you grant others the right to remember that you said it.

And if you said it, you better mean it – there are no ‘backsies’ – this is the Internet, everything stays on forever, it’s like reruns of The Golden Girls.

This is BROADWAY, it’s not a reality show where everything begins with the letter K! What in the name of our Sainted Aunt Eller is going on, Folks? All I keep thinking is Holy crap, what a shame….

Yes,  You can believe whatever you want, and I defend your right to believe it. (Unless it hurts kids or animals, I don’t put up with that) This is America, and even if I do not like what you say, you have a right to say it. Be as phobic as you want to be, if you have nothing better to do. It is within your rights to be as gawd awful as you want to be –  but people have a right to go to work and not feel betrayed. Keep it polite.

One final thing that I ask us all to keep in mind – there is a very old saying….almost older than the oldest profession and it goes like this:

Don’t sh*t where you eat

Because once you Tweet it….

Some of the best people in my life are Drag Queens. A Drag Queen is a man who dresses like a woman, and creates the illusion of a woman, on stage.  Usually, if you go to a Drag Show, you’ll see men dressed as some of our culture’s favorite Divas and they are on stage either doing comedy or lip synching to a famous song, or both. Some Drag Queens walk around in 1/2 drag all day, some only do it for performance. Some Drag Queens are Impersonators, and some are Originators – there is a hell of a lot of talent in pulling together a successful Drag look – there’s creative concept to ‘see’ it in their heads, sewing the outfit, makeup, and of course, ‘tucking’. Tucking is…look at the Gay Glossary in the back, but it’s sort of self explanatory.

I think there are lots of lessons to learn from Drag Queens as women, because to create the illusion of being a woman, they have studied women. Not just Divas, but real women – how we talk, how we hold ourselves, in fact, the best Drag Queens are better women than I could ever be – and their foundation makeup is flawless.

Here are a few lessons that I have learned from the Drag Queens in my life

Compassion

My Cousin from Australia was coming over to see me for two months – her Parents were going through a Kelsey/Camille divorce and she was an emotional wreck. Her dream was to be a makeup artist, and she had been taking courses at school, but she needed practical knowledge – which was why her Parents sent her on an impromptu trip to Los Angeles to stay with a Cousin she had not seen since she was six years old. Ahem.

The first day, we had a bit of a breakdown that happened when she told me about what was going on at home, and it was clear that she had not been taking care of herself emotionally or physically.

Anyway, as a stage performer, I know a lot about makeup, but I do not consider that I am a makeup artist, so I looked around for things for her to do. One of the best things I thought of was to take her to a Drag show that one of my friends, Calpernia Addams has every week at Hamburger Mary’s in West Hollywood. After the show, we went backstage and she met DeTox Icunt, Willam Belli, Miss Barbie-Q, Shangela. When I introduced her, and she talked to them about what she wanted to do, they all fell in love with her a bit, and they all offered to help her learn makeup. On various nights, they would come to the theater early, without makeup, so she could watch them put it on. Willam even allowed her to come to his house, and enter his amazing closet (it was a bedroom) so that she could see what he did. Also helping me out was my dear friend, Danny Cassillas, aka Ms Freida Laye from Chico’s Angels and my pal, Celebrity Makeup Artist, Brett Freedman.

When she went back to Brisbane, she was a changed girl. She was confident, she was a B.I.T.C.H. – Broad In Total Control (of) Herself! Cuz RuPaul is exactly right – If you don’t love yourself, how in hell you gonna love anyone else? Give that man in six inch heels an AMEN!