Yes Virginia, there IS a Gay Mafia….

There are a lot of show biz questions running around –

Does it really improve your career if you throw in with the scary people who live in the ‘Centers’?

Don’t act like you don’t know who lives there – mwahahahahaha

Are we ever going to find out who a certain couch jumper likes to sleep with?

I hear she doesn’t need the money….

…what’s it like to have access to more money than the Catholic Church?

Turning the G in Scientology to “Gee, I don’t THINK so…”

…hmm, thus far my examples are all relying on the knowledge of Katie Holmes….(I must go out and buy a mini-Burberry raincoat for my niece and say 5 Hail Mary, Kiki Kiki’s immediately!)

Here is something I get asked a lot, so here it goes…

Many people wonder if there is a Gay Mafia….

When in doubt, ask Madonna

Sometimes it’s called the Pink Mafia, or Lavender, sometimes the Velvet Mafia, but it all means the same thing – and the answer is yes.

Now, WHO’S EXCITED?

Am I going to tell you who is in it? No. You can pretty much guess…

Now, do they look scary? Don’t wrap yourself in cheap chicken sandwiches, what is cuter than this Family?

oh – NO ONE who appeared on, or who will ever appear in “THE A LIST” is in the Velvet Mafia! That show is stupid.

“Velvet Mafia” is a term we refer to in “The Hollywoodland” – the cabal of Writers, Agents, Producers, Casting directors, PR folks, Studio Heads, and…they’re Gay. (So if all you want to do is protest them and eat bad chicken sandwiches, turn off your televisions, don’t go to the movies, and stop reading) Instead of dealing in high priced items that fell off the back of a truck, they are working on corralling talent, making motion pictures or television shows, and having scads of absolutely fabulous parties where scandalous things occur.

Turn that thing off, you want us to get arrested?

Allegedly.

Sometimes with themes.

My Cousin, Aussie Photographer William Yang took this one

There is even a Jr. Velvet Mafia that is all the up and comers who will eventually be the power brokers of the future. We call them Assistants. Don’t EVER be rude to an Assistant or they will hand you YOUR ass with their next promotion, cuz you KNOW who was an Assistant once?

EVERYONE!

How do I know this?

My hair is so big because that is where I hide all my SECRETS!

I have been to those parties and I am not saying a word. (OMG so fabulous, you’d DIE, oh crap, shhhhh)

Actually, you could follow fellow Fairy Princess, @MsLisaChang on Twitter and you would get the idea.

The best thing for you to know about the Gay Mafia – and the subdivisions – the Power Lesbians, the Politicos, the Cleaners – is that it does exist Virginia, and if I told you more about it they would have to kill me. Or at least rescind my invitations, which would be the same thing. Social death is equally painful.

There can be Gay Mafia in any industry and in any city – it’s just a bunch of folks who socialize and share information about the business they are in. And then take it over. To make it better…. and at some point it’s handed to a Lesbian with a Clipboard and it’s totally and completely way more efficient. 🙂

They are not out to rip children from the bosoms of their Parents, they are not out to ‘turn’ anyone, or corrupt antiquated ideals of marriage – it’s just business. They are businessmen.