The Fairy Princess has been notably absent from the world wide interweb for a few weeks – which in cyber space is a time as lengthy as it takes a child to grow. I was too sad to write, but eventually, I did get to thinking that it’s time that I took a stand on a key issue plaguing our fair nation. There has been huge debate. It is time I stood up…
I’m just going to say it. Get ready….
I watch Honey Boo Boo.
There, I said it. I know you are all supposing I laugh at “A Dolla Makes Me Holla” type comments, and I do - but not for the reasons you might think. I laugh, because Alana has a rampant amount joy in her, and that Family loves one another and has a great time.
The Fairy Princess like happy families, and if they are happy families who do pageants and dumpster dives, so be it. Maybe, having just lost my Dad, I am getting more pleasure than I would have thought possible at watching a Family who gets along. What fun to watch an Actually Real Housewife! I mean, who wouldn’t enjoy a Teen Mom who is not smacking around her Baby Daddy on MTV while trying to juggle a possible modeling career and defending her breast implants?
There are no breast implants on Honey Boo Boo…though, it IS only the first season.
In HBB world, Momma June sometimes rolls out a tarp and makes a mud pit at the end of it with a hose, so her kids can slip and slide in the crazy hotness of a Georgia summer. I am a Mom now, and if my son came and asked me for a slippery slide, I would move heaven and earth to get him one – even if the earth was in my flowerbed and eventually became ooze that infiltrated every fiber of the Berber carpet. He wants mud, he gets mud.
I also love that Momma June Shannon is making Kris Jenner k-rap her pants with the thought that they may ‘out ratings‘ the giant K! (Kris Jenner would never make a mud pit in her Calabasas Castle of K, unless she thought throwing Kim and Kanye in it would result in K-illions of dollars.) Kris does not find Honey Boo Boo very K-lassy. Not having Kris Kommendation keeps Honey Boo Boo up past kurfew….nah, her bedtime is probably at 8pm.
The Shannons have a crazy house, but no crazier than any other house I have been to in my world travels, so….if Alana wants to have a gay mini-pig named Glitzy who does pageants with her, well slap that piglet into a tiara and let’s go! (Alas Glitzy had to go, because there was a Grandbaby coming, farewell Glitzy, we hardly knew ye)
If what makes people uncomfortable about the show is that, as Alana says herself, they are fat, well…so what? As Christmas Eve from Avenue Q says, “People come in all shapes and sizes”.
I love that Momma June knows she’s a catch – she’s pretty sure that she’s going to clean up real nice as soon as she ‘slaps some paint on this ol’ barn’. I wish I was as confident as Momma June. See that? We can learn confidence from a 307 lb mother of four, who lives with her Baby Daddy in rural Georgia. Truly, she has more energy than I, and definitely better math, because Extreme Couponing? Couldn’t do it. Not in a million years.
I love Big Ang too. Big Ang would never whack anyone, I know that in my heart. Even if she went to, her spray tan would make the weapon slippery and she would rather do shots at the Drunken Monkey anyway. No, Big Ang would not whack anyone, I know that in my heart. (Karen or Renee, I’m not so sure about)
I have heard quite a lot, lately, about what makes a Family. Apparently we are allowed to judge on major television networks and in sound bites. The Fairy Princess does not enjoy this part of the electoral process.
Judging should be isolated to Talent Shows and Olympic Events. Those are things where there can be a clear winner – did Ussain Bolt come in first? Why yes he did, so…HE WINS! End of story. Kelly Clarkson sang her face off, while that guy with the curly hair…had curly hair. KELLY WINS! End of story. (I gave up on AI after the first season)
The Fairy Princess has a very low view of those who would render Families asunder, based on who the Parents love. It was not so long ago in our Country, that a marriage between members of different races was illegal. Which would have made a difference to me, cuz, well…
And of course, would have been a bit of an issue for this guy:
Who then became THIS guy:
My point, and I do have one, is that people are programmed to love, but as Rogers & Hammerstein told us in South Pacific, to hate you ‘Have to be carefully taught“.
Love is not a reality show, no matter how many times MTV, VH-1, or ABC try to make us think so.
Honey Boo Boo’s Family sometimes does Extreme Couponing and sometimes they do Pageants. S’all good – sometimes I sing show tunes and wear glittery dresses, and sometimes I scrub the toilet while yelling at my Husband about his aim, that is not the point. The point is that Honey Boo Boo is one kind of Family, and my Husband and Son and I are another. I would consider them both equal.
The Fairy Princess has read, but does not rule her life by a Book that had more Ghost Writers than a Tom Cruise Press Release. The Fairy Princess would not take kindly to stoning anyone. (Unless they were unkind to children or animals – but I would probably call Big Ang for referrals).
There can be inspiration without condemnation.
The Fairy Princess believes in Families, and in Love, and in Science – and they are all compatible beliefs. The Fairy Princess, overwhelmingly believes in the practice of compassion and generosity of spirit – and that Families come in all shapes and sizes. Saying that one kind of Family is ‘first’ and using it to lambast another kind of Family is to deny what is most important about the word “Family”, and that is Love.
The Fairy Princess asks, as you vote this November, to please remember that no matter what ‘differences’ you may see or believe there are between us, we are not all that different when you get past the surface -
We all put our tiaras on, one cubic zirconia at a time, don’t we?